Shed

I woke up this morning, and before I even opened my eyes, I told myself, "You need to chop your hair off! TODAY!!!!!!!!"

I had an entire debate with myself (which I will spare you from).

In the end, I stood in the mirror with scissors in my hand.

My hands were shaking ridiculously hard. FEAR.

I was scared and still somewhat reluctant to do this, but I knew I should do this.

I had to shed.

My heart was beating so fast. I was sad. I had been proud of what had grown. But, then I remembered it would grow back... maybe even better and healthier than before.

I know I have grown over this year. After coming out to my mother, I realized that I was much braver than I thought I could be. I also realized that I would do more than what I ever could conceive for the person I loved.

But now I understood that what was once alive and vibrant is now dead. No more trying to resuscitate her love for me. It had been long gone, moved on to another world. I had to give in and let go before my love, my life was poisoned with bitterness.

And this was my first step towards saving myself.

SNIP!  SNIP!!  SNIP!!!   SNIP!!!!  SNIP!!!!! SNIP!!!!!! SNIP!!!!!!!