Crying



♫...Lord, I'm needing you now.

Tell me how to stop the rain. Tears are falling down, endlessly...♫

~Mariah Carey~

You remember Alice at the beginning of season three of The L Word-- when she was crying ALL of THE time, after Dana broke up with her?

That's me, mourning my failure. One minute I'm fine. The next I'm balling my eyes out, choked to death by the reality of lost love. I've never cried so intensly before this relationship. I think to myself, "Wow, you really love this girl, don't you?"

THE worst times for me are while I'm grocery shopping (don't ask), while I'm driving, and in bed at night.

It was obvious and uncontrollable before,-- "Your eyes look so sad" a friend said to me-- but now as it gets a bit easier every day, I am able to handle the transition better.

I think all of these tears I shed randomly-- sometimes softly, sometimes violently---  is her leaving my system, our future seeping out of me... withdrawal.

Getting over love fucking hurts is all I can describe to someone without experience.